Planning a wedding can be overwhelming for many couples. Knowing what to expect and what it’s like to plan a wedding can help couples get a handle on what is to come and what their next steps should be.
John Maher: Hi, I’m John Maher. Today, I’m here with Faye Broderick, senior consultant at the Essex Room, a wedding venue on the north shore of Massachusetts. Today, we’re talking about “what is it like to plan a wedding”? Welcome, Faye.
Faye Broderick: Hi, John.
John: Faye, someone who’s never been married before has no idea what they’re getting into when they start to plan a wedding. Isn’t that right?
Faye: A little bit.
What Can You Compare Planning a Wedding To?
John: For that newly engaged couple, what would you say you could compare planning and having a wedding to?
Faye: I would say there were two things you could compare planning a wedding to. First is going to be finding the right college and the college application process. That’s going to relate mostly to your vendors. Think of your vendors as the college, and you have to pick the right one. While a lot of people call looking around for their vendors “shopping,” it really is like an application or an audition process.
Your vendors are auditioning for you. You want to make sure that, maybe, if you’re a high‑strung person, you want a laid‑back photographer. You want someone who’s going to counter your personality and keep you calm the day of the wedding. It would also be like taking the biggest barbecue you’ve ever planned and thrown and multiplying it by 20.
You’ve got more guests, more details, more things to worry about.
John: When you’re doing your wedding planning, you’re picking a photographer. You’re picking a band or a deejay. You’re picking the location. It’s almost like that college process, but over and over and over again.
Faye: Over and over and over again. It’s not only picking your college, it’s picking your classes. It’s picking maybe what clubs you want to join or what sports you want to play. It’s all of that, at the same time. It can be very overwhelming. As you are planning, just make sure you’re picking the people that you think are going to help you and guide you the most through the process.
How Does a Wedding Planner Help Plan a Wedding?
John: Speaking of which, how can having a wedding planner help to make that process less overwhelming or go more smoothly?
Faye: A wedding planner can help in a number of ways. A wedding planner would be like an outside contractor. Think of her or him as your guidance counselor when you’re applying to college. They’re going to help you find vendors. They’re going to whittle down your options. They’re going to help you with contracts and arrange deposits.
They’re going to take care of all of that kind of detail, paperwork that maybe you don’t have time or don’t have the inclination to take care of.
Know What You Want & Let Go of the Rest
John: Is there a balance that brides can strike between trying to control every detail of their wedding and then maybe being too wishy‑washy and not providing enough direction to the various family members and vendors that she’s working with?
Faye: My advice would be to know exactly what you want and to communicate that to everyone involved, as much as possible, so that the day of, you can let it go. You want to tell your mother that you want the ivory dress with the sparkles and the mermaid bottom, before you go shopping. When you do go shopping, you want to have photos with you, at the ready.
Same with your florist. You want to provide your deejay with a playlist. You want to provide your photographer a list of the must‑have photos of the day. But come the day, you have to let everything go and have trust in the vendors that you’ve chosen to get those things accomplished for you.
You chose them for a reason, and hopefully that reason was because you trust them and you have faith in them to get the job done.
John: That’s really good advice. Like you said, that would just allow you to relax on the day of your wedding and not be running around and trying to direct everything, like the director of a movie or something.
Faye: That, and it will take you away from maybe getting a reputation as a bridezilla. We’ve all heard of them, and maybe we’ve seen them in the movies or something along those lines. But you don’t want your wedding day to be one that you remember as the person running around and trying to have your hands in every pot.
Worrying about the wait staff, worrying about the deejay, worrying about all of those people that, again, you paid to provide you a service. Hopefully, that service is to take care of you.
John: That’s really great advice, Faye. Thanks again for speaking with me today.
Faye: Thank you, John.
John: For more information and wedding planning tips or to inquire about having your wedding at the Essex Room, you can visit the website at essexroom.com or call 978‑768‑7335.